Not Quite Dead

Been a while (sort of), since the last "proper" update (definitely), so here I am in a how-do-you-do sort of way. This blog IS still amongst my favourite pastimes, but the current "bit" that I'm working on is taking a LOT longer than I anticipated. Plus, real-world events (don't worry, they're good ones) means I'm getting less time for it too. So just to keep things happy around here, allow me to present some examples of another hobby of mine, if you will?

I work in a newsagents, so I can browse every newspaper every day without giving any money to certain Australian dictators, doddery old billionaire Nazis or American psychopaths. I like to "document" front page headlines that amuse me as well, using my trusty low-resolution camera phone. Presented here is a "best of" for the period of latter 2014 up until today...

This one's fun - I cut it out and sent it to the Fortean Times but they didn't seem interested.

These ones DID make it into the FT, probably because it was on the front page of the Star for nearly a full month.

Nice double-treat here of scary things and evil mastermind sort of thing.

"Scary clowns" was briefly a thing as well - love the matter-of-fact way these stories are printed.

Even the ho-hum world of reality television had the shits put up it by spooky things.

It's cruel, but I can't read that headline without laughing, loudly.

Similar. The "context" for this story had a fat sod trying to climb through his ex's bathroom window, failing, and then hiding under a trampoline until the police turned up.

Nice bit of subtle product placement there, courtesy of the Sunday Post.

And as of today, the clowns are back!

It's the little things that keep us going blah blah blah.

Next article HOPEFULLY up before February escapes out the window.

The REAL Annual (can't think of a snappy title for this one, sorry)

Next on the pile... This one!

It's the 1990 (as in, 1989) Real Ghostbusters annual, and this one actually DID arrive on the 25th day of December, all those years ago. Ghostbusters and its related media seems to be one of life's constants, at least in my experience. Early exposure and all that. And out of the four Real Ghostbusters annuals I've got over the years, this is the one that stands out for some fairly unique reasons...

Bowel-shifting

Every year since 1995, or at least whenever I've remembered or been able to, I try and find/purchase Bart Simpson's Treehouse of Horror, an annual anthology of "spooky" Simpsons comics. This year's was a bitter disappointment (in that it wasn't funny at all), but that's par for the course with The Simpsons these days.

Anyway, in that very first issue eighteen years ago, this page was in it:

That's Matt Groening listing a load of things that spooked him during his developing years. I'm going to have a go at doing that now! Probably the last opportunity I'll have to do something "thematic" for this month, so it's back to the comics after this. But just for now, here's as many things as I can remember that frightened, confused, perturbed or caused mild discomfort to me over the years...

More festivities from Shiver and Shake

As the title suggests, here's a few more bits of December-themed bobs from Shiver and Shake. 

Beginning with... Horrornation Street, from the 1977 annual, by Tom Williams:

Also from 1977... Sweeny Toddler! By another Tom - Tom Paterson, of course:

From the days when Mr. Paterson was mostly "ghosting" for Leo Baxendale. It's as if it's from the same pen - if he wanted to, he could easily do a fourth Willy The Kid book!

And speaking of ghosting Mr. Baxendale... Here's Grimly Feendish from the 1985 annual, done by Leo's son, Martin:

(Thanks to Irmantas of Kazoop!! for that information)

Oh, and would you look at the time? Guess the world's not ending after all. Four more sleeps till Christmas!

Christmas At Scream Inn

It's only recently I've started to discover the wonders of Fleetway's Shiver and Shake comic (mostly due to my Welsh benefactor who's sent me two annuals so far), and there's a LOT to enjoy within those pages. Of particular note is Brian Walker's Scream Inn - a haunted hotel run by ghosts, that offers the prize of a million pounds to any guest who'll last the full night there. Readers of Shiver and Shake could suggest who they think might stand a chance, and if their suggestion was chosen, they'd be rewarded with a shiny pound coin.

Anyway, the annual from 1977 (or 1976 if you like, the way annuals are numbered will always be a source of confusion) featured a festively-themed tale, with the "guest" being a sweet old lady who writes poems for Xmas cards. Here it is:

(Oh, in case you don't know by now, click on the pictures to make them bigger, then click again to make them even bigger than that!)

Spooky Riddles

Blimey, Hallowe'en already? That was quick! It's on a Wednesday this year, so there's not even a midnight screening at the local cinema, which is a bugger. Suppose I'll just be watching some "scary" films, maybe sacrifice a few cats or something. Anyway, just for a final dose of chuckles for October, here's Spooky Riddles by Marc Brown (creator of Arthur!). It's from 1983, and the jokes have aged well. Be warned - some of the pages have an answer THEN a question on the same page. And there's a VERY deep spine on this one, which explains the strange way that the double pages look.

Regardless, here we go, have fun!

More scary adverts, why not?

I've got LOADS of these things sitting on the hard drive, so let's be having them! 'Tis the season and all that.

So, one of the "57 Varieties" of Heinz was "Haunted House"? I've got no problem with that. Can't find it anymore so can only assume it was replaced with the smaller sized tins of Heinz Beanz with Curry.

Amazing colours here... is ANYTHING that colourful anymore?

This remains one of the most unsettling adverts I've ever seen. A beady-eyed fish man wants you to spread the word about how his planet is dying by wearing a T-shirt... and the way to help his planet is by drinking concentrated orange juice. Regard! The two who wear the T-shirt stare each other down - kindred spirits, or rivals for precious liquids? The other kids seem terrified, especially the Mohican-topped one.

Not really seasonal, unless you think of the Jelly Invaders as aliens or something. This remains the best yoghurt that ever existed. A big heap of jelly, and you'd tip the yoghurt into it and mix it up for a wobbly, gooey mess of a dessert. Suppose you could always pretend the jelly was a brain? Would that work?

Tom Paterson's Spooky Buster Covers

During the late 1980s, Tom Paterson did some amazing covers for Buster, often depicting chaotic, ridiculous or downright strange things befalling the poor lad. As it's October and I'm feeling slightly restricted in that sense (but not in a bad way!), here's some of the "ghost/monster"-themed covers that were done over the issues...

"Win a Christmas Treat From Sellotape" - scary stuff!

Oh look - the date on this one's the same as my 2nd birthday. This one might not be Paterson's, but it's good all the same.

Unfortunately I don't have the "whole thing" - never even seen it!

But I do have the mask that was inside this one!

See?

My absolute favourite - probably one of the greatest comic covers of all time. Playing on the comic's title too, nice trick! Actually, this one's SO good, that I'm posting the story that goes with it too. It's a good'un:

A Haunted House to Call My Own

About a hundred Xmas Days ago (I'm guessing perhaps 1990, maybe even 1989?), I got this from him with the reindeer:

Oh yes! Make A Model Haunted House, by Jon Sutherland, Simon Farrell, Mark Hackett and Richard Jewitt. A dream team if ever there was one. It's a book, containing riddles and some big bits of illustrated card. With the help of scissors, glue and a patient grown-up, it enables you to make the thing on the back of the book:

This PARTICULAR book (as in, the one I've stuck under the scanner for the above display purposes) is another "as new" copy I've acquired within the last few years, as the original book is long gone.

BUT... The model haunted house has survived for over twenty years and through no less than three house moves! Let's take a looksee at it.

Some SPOOOOKY Adverts

Two of them!

Still got one of those Casper stickers, somewhere...

Also this thing from the Eagle, profiling the launch of some terrifying sweets:

Will that do? No? Okay, here's Keyhole Kate meeting Freddy Krueger:

All About Ghosts (everything you ever wanted to know about them but were too terrified to ask)

Ah, the Children's Britannica. Published just for schools in 1977, and designed to intrigue and terrify in equal measure. There's a lot of strange things out there in the world, and this series of books was there to tell you how to make sense of it all. In keeping with "the season", here's their guide to ghosts.

The book itself is possessed, just so you know. No matter what I did, the pages just wouldn't scan straight. Spoooooky!

Is it bad? Nah, It's Wicked!

In the space-age year of 1989, Marvel's UK arm decided to have a stab at DC Thomson's racket with a couple of strange comics. One of those shall be looked at right now, and the other at some other time. This is the first one, and it's wicked - It's Wicked!

Yep, that's Slimer from The Real Ghostbusters on the cover - Marvel already had a Ghostbusters comic out, so they must've thought it'd made sense to launch a new bunch of characters off the back of this ugly little spud. The big orange square is where the free tattoos were displayed - and as I don't have the tattoos to hand, we're left with a deceptively spartan cover! The font up there's an obvious Dandy rip-off, but we'll forgive them that much. The covers for the other two issues I have are less lonesome-looking than this one:

 We've got Slimer's hilarious attempt at body-building on this one...

And some advice to the youngsters about not hiding inside the mouths of lions on this one. Makes sense when you think about it.

Right, let's see what's inside them!