Sunday 1 February 2015

Not Quite Dead

Been a while (sort of), since the last "proper" update (definitely), so here I am in a how-do-you-do sort of way. This blog IS still amongst my favourite pastimes, but the current "bit" that I'm working on is taking a LOT longer than I anticipated. Plus, real-world events (don't worry, they're good ones) means I'm getting less time for it too. So just to keep things happy around here, allow me to present some examples of another hobby of mine, if you will?

I work in a newsagents, so I can browse every newspaper every day without giving any money to certain Australian dictators, doddery old billionaire Nazis or American psychopaths. I like to "document" front page headlines that amuse me as well, using my trusty low-resolution camera phone. Presented here is a "best of" for the period of latter 2014 up until today...


This one's fun - I cut it out and sent it to the Fortean Times but they didn't seem interested.



These ones DID make it into the FT, probably because it was on the front page of the Star for nearly a full month.


Nice double-treat here of scary things and evil mastermind sort of thing.



"Scary clowns" was briefly a thing as well - love the matter-of-fact way these stories are printed.



Even the ho-hum world of reality television had the shits put up it by spooky things.



It's cruel, but I can't read that headline without laughing, loudly.


Similar. The "context" for this story had a fat sod trying to climb through his ex's bathroom window, failing, and then hiding under a trampoline until the police turned up.


Nice bit of subtle product placement there, courtesy of the Sunday Post.


And as of today, the clowns are back!

It's the little things that keep us going blah blah blah.

Next article HOPEFULLY up before February escapes out the window.

17 comments:

  1. If comics were as funny as those headlines, they'd sell out in no time.

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  2. Remember when the Sunday Sport ran headlines like this for fun?

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    1. Yeah, "Loch Ness Monster is Nazi U-Boat" and so on. They still do every so often - there was one a few weeks ago about a stripper eating a midget or something - I just prefer the papers that try to pass themselves off as "news". There are people who take these stories seriously, it's true!

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  3. We actually have a "ghost" or two here in my home... I just try and ignore its activities...
    it is often much more active when I have visitors....
    They are normally the ones to notice "things".... and it is much harder to "just ignore" these "happenings" when others witness them...
    We never place much belief in these "Headlines"...

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    1. A couple of late 90's "Weekly World News" hang on the walls of my old bedroom...

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    2. Saw that ghost on your blog - the one in your bedroom? Very strange!

      As for the Weekly World News, that's finished now hasn't it? Shame, some fun headlines in that thing.

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  4. What I miss out on by buying comics rather than newspapers! - the funniest things I've seen since " FREDDIE STARR ATE MY HAMSTER!"
    Glad you haven't forgotten about us, mate!

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    1. Congratulations, John - that's the 1000th comment on this thing!

      I'll sort a "prize" of some sort for you, if you want?

      And yeah - treat all newspapers as comedy and they're nowhere near as dangerous as they could potentially be.

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    2. JP doesn't want his prize - he says give it to me!

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    3. JP has three years to claim his prize - if not, it's all yours, Kid!

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    4. As I came to find your blog through the Kid, I think it fitting that the prize should go to him.
      My rewards in visiting these blogs is enough for me!
      But, I am touched by your generous offer, Ryan and I thank you for it.
      Here's to the next 1000 comments, eh?
      ( And I've STILL got more archives of yours to go through!)

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    5. How very generous of you! And yet, here's the dilemma - the "prize" was set to be a bundle of "doubles" I've accumulated, and Kid's not into those sort of things at all... Oh what a to-do!

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    6. Now I feel bad, hope I haven't hurt your feelings? I'll still have to pass though, as I'm SO O.C.D. that if I start to recollect these again in "the flesh" so-to-speak, I'll become SO addicted again that I'll HAVE to try and track down every single one, and I simply can't afford to!
      Honestly, it's much "safer"for me just to re-indulge on line!
      I genuinely do thank you again and hope you don't feel snubbed, but there are far more deserving owners than myself - people who are knowledgeable about the writers and artists!
      Best wishes, John.

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    7. Haha, no worries, John, and no feelings hurt either - it'll save me on the postage by just leaving them here on the floor. I know what you mean about "in-the-flesh" stuff, believe me!

      I'll probably end up sticking all the doubles on eBay or something, at some distant point in the future...

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  5. Wow, them ghosts, looks like the Aphex Twin started his April Fool's day pranks early.

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  6. I really need you to contact me, i saw you own the "Where's Sonic" book, and i'd appreciate if you send me photos of it.

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    1. Hi Fernando, where did I mention that? I DO own it, just can't remember mentioning it anywhere! Are you on Facebook or anything? If you are, I'll send some pictures your way, no problem.

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