The Specialist Adult Humour Periodical for the Lonely

Well look at this, more than one post in a month! Makes a nice change, a bit. This one's about a terrible, terrible, terrible comic called Spit! - I don't feel like smiling anymore.

Carry on, make yourself miserable...

"Comic Historians" will be interested to know that this is the comic that helped to bury the (slightly) superior Zit - Russell Church, the owner of Zit, took Spit! to court on plagiarism charges, and got laughed out of the room with a massive time-wasting fine, but as we'll see here, maybe there was a slight bit of truth to his argument.

For example, many of the characters that appeared in Zit also appeared in Spit! - suppose that's the trouble with a relying on freelancers in an overpopulated market, perhaps? Here's Maxwell Beecher, who we've already met before:

As well as Rob Filth's Roy of the Red Lion:

And Graham Hey's large cast of unimaginative characters... The Twats Next Door:

Dad and Son:

And Teenage Mum:

Graham Hey also "did" a few other "characters" here, just for Spit! - well, they're not in any issues of Zit that I have, at least. None of them are much fun. We have wife-murdering gambling-addict Fred Furlong:

Child-bothering clergyman Reverend Potter:

And pathetic Sid The Sexist rip-off Norman's Conquest:

And while we're on the subject of terrible imitations that completely miss the point, here's Spit!'s take on Viz's Jack Black - Andy Fraser's Danny Glutton, the Fat-Arsed Schoolboy Detective:

Carrying on with the desperately-wanting-to-be-Viz theme, they also did these things:

In case you can't tell, that's supposed to be funny. Seasoned Viz readers will be familiar with such "tatvertisements" as No. 22 Shit Street or The Life of Christ in Cats, but this one? Well, it's a picture of kittens on a plate, and then it talks about the kittens on a plate... There's something missing here, that being "humour", which is sadly a bit of a running theme with Spit!, as can be further demonstrated by the likes of Michael Hingley's Lambert and Butler:

That charming punchline there? It's used often! See also Ugly Dudley:

Ugly Dudley's "thing" is the mutilation of students, as you can see here:

As well as in the four thousand other adventures he has. Drawn by Chris Whitehead, possibly the most prolific of contributors to Spit! - here's another of his regulars, the Queen of Clubs:

That bit that's obscured for legal reasons has my curiosity piqued slightly...

Also from Mr. Whitehead we have...

Alan Clutchdown, Driving Instructor (with ANOTHER sodomy-related punchline):

Young Brad, the Vicar's Lad:

Wingnut Wilson with a punchline that's actually fairly amusing a bit!

Charles' Atlas, which has potential but somehow falters... Not quite sure why or how:

Difficult Youth:

Robbie's Robot Dad - that panel where he says "Tin cunt" is worth a chuckle at least:

Barney's Rubble, which I actually DID laugh at, for that "riot" that he helps to start:

Gypsy Kings - Viz got into a spot of bother when they did a strip based around Gypsies (it's all there on Wikipedia if you're interested). When Spit! took a pop at them, it seems nobody really noticed, let alone cared:

And here's a further example of the slap-dash nature of relying on freelancers for content - Belamy Lugosi, Gothic Botanist appeared in issue 16:

And then again, with the exact same strip only with a bit of spot-colouring, in issue 45:

Good old Mr. Omnipresent himself, Nigel Maughan, is also a victim of multiple printings here - I've seen this same Barny Boot-Sale in Zit and possibly even in Smut as well:

Let's see some more of Mr. Maughan's contributions, because I like him...

Here's Bertie's Balloons:

And the mini-masterpiece, Junior Ram Raiders - each episode ends with the lead young offender mutilated in increasingly messy ways, to the point that his parents are getting sick of the whole thing:

Let's see, what else has Spit! got that's worth noting... There's the Spit! chatlines, which I can only assume are the worst things ever conceived:

And these things also - taking old adventure strips and changing the words in an attempt to make them funny. They go on for up to sixteen pages, so here's just one page from one of them - you get the idea:

And here's some more bits from the "early days" of Spit! - the contractually-obliged Jeremy Beadle lampoon, courtesy of Andy Fraser:

Jim Nasium, Andy Fraser's ode to schoolboy buggery:

Whitley Baywatch, drawn by Lew Stringer and written by Graham Hey (so at least this one looks different to the rest of Hey's stuff):

Something from current Beano and Viz man Paul Palmer:

And some more things from Michael Hingley:

From issue 27 until its overdue demise, Spit! underwent a slight makeover, with a full-colour glossy cover and some new artists:

Most "prominent" amongst them being Anthony Smith, again. He still did his usual identi-kit characters:

Whilst also deviating somewhat into a slightly different "style", which works well for the (comparatively) "hilarious" Pete's Pranks - a blatant rip-off/affectionate parody of Joker from Knockout and Whizzer & Chips. I like it:

Not so fun is Sad Twat, a bespectacled Roger the Dodger in a story in which nothing happens:

And Schizophrenic Stan - it's not often I put on my PC helmet, but this one I don't like, negative reinforcements of misguided stereotypes and all that:

Also new to the fold is... Someone Kelly? Seems like an angry fellow, you can imagine him gritting his teeth whilst drawing stuff like this:

And then there's this... thing. By a guy called "Gash", I'm SURE I've seen his work elsewhere... It's Sefton Ward, Paranormal Detective. The stories make no sense, but they look like nothing else:

UPDATE:
Almost exactly three years after this most was made, "Gash" has made himself known via the Facebook group (joined yet? It's fairly fun) - Gary Bell is his name ("Gash" being a nickname for Gary, from a time before the word was more synonymous with lady bits). And he also did a strip for Spit! called Nero Ramone: Porno Star Turned Hitman. Happy days! Thanks go to Gary Whitlock for pointing him in this direction.

And... That's Spit! then. Mostly terrible, but it got slightly better as it went on. The last-dated issue in my possession is from late 1996, meaning it lasted at least two years - moderately successful in terms of rude comics that aren't Viz then, and certainly deserving of its place in history for burying Zit.

Before we go, and seeing as it's October (when seemingly every blog has to have a "spooky" theme), here's the cover to Spit!'s Hallowe'en issue:

And a board game sort of thing from inside it, done by that Whitehead guy again:

Ah bollocks, I've spent my whole day off doing this thing.

Have a look at the comments below for some conflicting, informative opinions on what it was like working on Spit!, whilst also marvelling at the wonders of the modern age (write about comics then the folk who made the comic will come along and tell you about it!).